What can I say, September turned out to be one of the worst months of my entire life….don't need to share everything…wouldn't want to share everything ..ha ha….anyway, the culmination of this is that my husband had a procedure/surgery heart thingie on October 13th. He was under for four hours and came out looking like things would turn out well. We won't know for certain for three months. However, in the middle of the night of his stay in the hospital, we had complications….again, too many long details…suffice it to say we pulled through and it will be two weeks this coming Wednesday that we came home and he's out digging ditches in the orchard today…so there you have it! Full steam ahead!
In the meantime I am attempting to get my feet balanced under me again. The stress and anxiety that carried with me the month before is finally sliding off my shoulders and I'm back to my daily workouts….actually, I began running again, after a year away from the track…and am enjoying that feeling immensely. There's nothing like the power of running. And since I gained a pile of weight during my just over a month absence from sanity…damn the vodka! Yeah, that one kinda crept up on me…haven't partaken of the libation as such in many many years…but, it seemed like the thing to do to get some chill in my life…like I said, there were some other serious contributing factors to my demise, all, most of which I am happy to report, are on the upswing…mostly anyway.
So now it's all about being fit, creating some really cool new vegan/veggie recipes, preparing for an art exhibit, finish the damn third book already!! and of course Xmas is next week for gods sake! And with that holiday comes my big six oh! That's right, June is turning 60!
One thing we did do while having fun at cocktail hour one night was one of the best things I'll ever take in my memory for the rest of my life….we had music blasting while we were working out in the garden and hanging outside all afternoon. Then we sat down in the orchard and watched the sun go down and lights from the house looked so awesome…we felt, and feel, so blessed to call this our home…it's just so magical here. So when we came in the tunes were just amazing, the next one better than the last one, and rockin perfect…so we danced. And I mean we DANCED…for THREE solid hours!! We sang and danced and kissed in-between sips…ha ha…until the wee hours. Our neighbor thought we had guests because the music was blasting so long and late...yes, sometimes it's really okay to let your hair down.
I'm so disciplined with my lifestyle, I rarely let anything take me out of the way I eat and my workouts, yoga, devotion, etc…(just ask my kids and my friends when they have a dinner party..they always supply something organic and veggie for me), however, the stress mounted to a level that even downward dog couldn't help…I can be so freaking hard on myself sometimes…so I just went with the flow of what was happening around me and decided to jump into the party for a moment. It had it's good, very good, moments and it had it's very worst as well (not sharing)….so I think for me, I just work better with the routine of discipline and devotion…and that's all I gotta say about that.
However, I will always have the memory of dancing in our living room, just the two of us, laughing so hard, singing so loud, kissing so passionately and finishing off the whole night with fireworks! (yes, I decided to share that!) and yes, we took photos too…what?
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| theres a weird black smug on my camera lens..but Ray is enjoying this song to say the least! |
So, no matter what…we ALL have those scary dark times and it feels like you'll never be yourself again…it feels like things couldn't get any worse, and then they do…however, the sun comes up every single day and you have to decide what it is exactly you are willing to do about it…are you going to melt away into nothing, or are you going to rise above it all and make something happen? It's your choice, and yours alone….and sometimes, you just gotta dance…oxo juner
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