We have my mother situated in a guest room while we wait for our tenet to find a new place to live, then my mother will move over to the little cottage just across the courtyard. This will be good for her, and for us, as just that little distance between us allows everyone to feel like they can be "normal" for a moment, and in their own space.
This whole situation has been extremely relentless and exhausting, both physically and emotionally.
Ray and I stayed for four and a half days attempting to put some order to what had happened. Still in complete and utter shock, we had to take care of business, it was the toughest thing I've ever had to do.
My mother and I went to the funeral home to make arrangements for my father's cremation, which is mind numbing to say the least. We had started going through some of my father's things looking for a specific ring, which caused us to begin sorting through some things we would normally not have begun doing so soon. It was simply heart wrenching. Then my little sister came in and we left the next day.
Then my other sister came in with some of her kids and they cleared out the rest of his clothes, and packed up the books and videos. My sister helped my mother clean out her closet and then she needed to get back home.
So Ray and I returned, with our son, and a job that I thought might take three days at most, when my mother told me that my sister had done some packing, and had emptied my fathers room. But she was mistaken as the only thing out of my fathers room was his clothes, so the work was more than we had expected. The cleaning up alone, was more than you can imagine. So much to sort through and loads of dump runs and tossing of things that were simply not needed. Ray worked relentlessly clearing out old storage lockers and tools, etc...he was a saint! Furniture to sell, house to put up for sale. That alone took hours for Ray to work with the real estate agent. Tons of phone calls, canceling, changing...it's insane what it takes to make this kind of move. It turned out to be extreme non stop packing for five straight days.
But in the end we filled the moving truck to capacity and trailered her car behind, while Case drove the small truck and I drove my mother and the dog. We caravanned for ...are you ready?....eleven hours!
Nothing could prepare me for what I felt shutting the door on my fathers room and walking away. It's one of the hardest moments in my entire life. Then I had to get behind the wheel and drive my mother...super sad.
We got home late on Friday night and took the next day off then went right back to work on Sunday to unload the moving truck mostly into a new storage locker. It took a couple more days to square things away in her room, which we're still adding things too. It's been a whirlwind of emotions and activity and I'm pooped!!
Now for the ceremony/service which is this coming weekend/Monday. This is going to be hard...but we'll get through it as best we can.
So, almost done with this cycle in my life. But the good news is that the sun came out one day and the duck had babies two days before Easter and it made us all smile. We're going to build a chicken coop and create a little water area for the duck and we're planning on adding a lamb or two...it's all a good way to settle into "home".
Thx again for all your well wishes and I can't wait to get on with my life and get back to my art and writing...but all this takes time. My life is forever changed with the death of my father, and now taking on the responsibility of keeping my mother with us for the remainder of her life.....it's amazing how in a breath your entire existence can change trajectory and place you in a new direction. Such is life.
|This was the drive out when Ray and I |
went to make sure my mother was alright.
It was magnificent to be inside these clouds.
Photos can't begin to give you the feeling we had being completely surrounded by them.
|The beauty of this day could not prepare us for what was to unfold that night, as this was the day my father eventually left us.|
|We took one night to go out and show Case some of Vegas.|
I actually got a smile out of everyone.
|The insanity of where to turn next|
|Simply rooms filled with boxes and things that needed to go into boxes that usually wouldn't be in a box...frustrating!|
|The front yard became the staging for several days|
I'm sure the neighbors appreciated that!
And this was near the end when things looked better!
For a while there were piles upon piles
of bins and boxes filling this entire space.
|It's that load of "stuff" that just gathers |
and you still need to figure out what to
do with it all and clean it all up regardless...
it's so freaking time consuming!
|Our son worked unbelievably hard...|
what a good boy!
|Cute cute cute!!!|
|I need to hold one already..but their a bit skittish yet...drat!|
|Some very quickly painted Easter eggs for the family...not from the duck, in case you are wondering.|