Wednesday, September 18, 2013


Okay, so I woke up last Monday (or actually the one before this past one), one week after our wedding, and still had the doldrums...we both did.  I think a lot of it had to do with the fact that half the party was still laying around our house and dress was hanging on the door, staring at me, taunting I finally put it in the closet....out of sight out of mind.
Amid my tears I sat in our bed and talking to my husband I realized, what are we doing?  This is probably why people leave right after their's too much emotion to just sit in it.  So I said, "let's just go to Tahoe today...just stay one night..."  

His best man had given us the money to go as a gift, however, after the explosion of cash that went out, we were less than willing to spend anything more, gift or not.  Which is why in the beginning we decided, we live in a great little town with plenty to see and do...let's just tool around we did, for the first few days...but now it wasn't wasn't working for he looked back up at me and said, "Seriously, leave today?" and I said, "yeah, just go, what's really stopping us...we have this money, we'd spend it here anyway on going out to dinner and such...let's just get outta here...besides, Mark really wanted us to go.."  So he looked at me like I was crazy for about a minute and then simply said..."Okay, let's just get out of here right now." 

And so we did...and let me tell you...two days in Tahoe works miracles!!

Someone else had left this in the sand for us to
stumble fortuitous !

Fallen Leaf home to me...

Not for me in Sept....brave man

Hubba hubba hubbie of mine

Works for me....(a nod to my niece)

So thx Mark for the lovely gift and we're so happy we did really felt like more than two days...we stayed at the lodge in Camp Rich and enjoyed ourselves immensely!!   So the next day we got home I got a cold and it's still here a week not like me...however, all the months of stress and no sleep finally caught now I need to get healthy for round two of our mini honeymoon month with a stay at a resort on the beach in Monterey...another gift from my old friend Lin and her husband until then...we're still in honeymoon phase over here..can't be less than a few minutes away from each other...marriage changes a lot...and in our case...wowza!  Hope this lasts forever, it's a tremendous feeling!!
Mucho love out there...until next time...xoxo juner

Saturday, September 7, 2013


Sunday, September 1st I married my best friend....too much too share right now...still in the doldrums of the after know, months and months of planning then poof! it's over in a heart beat and the roses are all dying now, I've been crying on and off for the past six days...we are both walking around here moping like someone just killed our cat!  We won't leave each others side...honeymoon plans postponed till end of the month...(a very special gift from my very special friend Lin), however, we are acting like honeymooners anyway.  

Walking around our sweet little town and strolling down the wharf, sushi lunches, sitting on the big cushy pillows on the bench on our patio sharing a toast and talking about how wonderful everything in our world is right now... we have plans tonight to see our friends band so we'll get to see some of the people from the wedding so that will be great..then lunch with the kids in San Fran tomorrow...and more little lovely, tender, personal moments we are planning...
for me, however, unfortunately I'm rewinding everything and now the things that were not completely "right" are jumping out at me like a boom and I'm second guessing if everything was beautiful or was it just my imagination.  You know the let down of not seeing your vision come together.  Even though everything looked great, and no one would know it was supposed to be different in any way...I know...

For starters my hair and makeup were not even close to what I had planned, which is a bummer...I ended up looking like my everyday hair, so that really was a huge let down. Right after our ceremony I ran upstairs with Caroline and we cut my bangs and reblew them and that was that...or my bouquet...although beautiful, seriously beautiful...not my vision in color or flowers. I had studied bouquets since Ray proposed to me and even got the perfect roses that I wanted, they just somehow disappeared into a different theme and my vision was lost and my dearest sweet friend Cheri did an amazing job, she didn't do anything wrong, just wasn't quite what I wanted, but she gave this to us as a gift and there was no way I wanted to hurt her feelings..and like I said, it's not like it wasn't gorgeous, just not my dream....these things happen, I suppose.   

I was just so ridiculously exhausted from not sleeping for three/four months straight and so many people running around and their opinions and ideas of where things should go, or my surprise later when I saw the tables that I had set the way I wanted and someone went around tying random ribbons on things that shouldn't of had ribbons...I know they all meant well...just not my vision.  I just pretty much let it all go and just showed up at the door to walk down the aisle.  
Oh, yeah, that brings up my other big peeve, the music, the two people that were performing "At Last" were not situated up by the alter where I really wanted that took the "dramatic effect" of what that song means to us out of the picture as I walked up to my man...I even had the officiate announce that no one was to stand up when I walked out so that everyone could "sit" in that aura, that moment, of the magic of that song and Cindy's perfect voice singing about a love that had finally come to us...but that wasn't so much the case unfortunately...and I should have insisted they hook up the extension cord and make it happen the way I had been dreaming about it for eight months...but it was late, my hair wasn't done and I didn't want anyone to worry about I said, okay...however, when I walked up next to Ray I hugged him and we began to sway and dance to the last bit of her rendition that we could almost hear and I hooted for her and applauded and then the ceremony began...and it was perfection!! 

I was completely present for this part of the whole day and it was everything I had hoped for...even if other things changed up a the gigantic balloons covered in lace that hung from the high tree limbs above the party began to deflate during the event and looked like huge ball sacs hanging down..ha ha..

But in the end I've never been so happy in all my life...I'm so in love and I have the best partner to walk beside me for the rest of my who could complain about that!  The thing that was the most important, the words we said to each other, the way we looked at each other, the looks on our kids faces when they stood up with us...this was ALL I had been dreaming about for eight in the end I ended up with everything I ever wanted and more....people have told me it was the best ceremony they had ever that's a love story!

I only have three photos at present to share...
Our dance...Fly Me To The Moon!

my sister in law Joy, her daughter in law, my new niece and photographer, Bonnie, and my maid of honor Jamie.
Photo: I shot my 1st wedding today. It came about organically, and I'm exhausted but it was so worth it! Much love to Mr. and Mrs. Schneider!
Later that night walking back from our room I turned to say something to Ray and he said Freeze don't move and snapped this photo...the look of love..xoxo juner

Janis late 60's

Janis  late 60's