EUGENE E. PACE - MY FATHER

Our second Xmas together

I just added this in because
I realized that my father is with my cousin
and I'm with her father...
so I'm the curly head on the left....
when I return home I'l find the one of my father and myself

edited 3/19

Our last Xmas together

My father Gene passed away last night.  And I can not be any sadder than I am at this moment.  It's simply unbearable.  It's mind numbing.  I feel like I'm in a bad dream.  


I'm here, in Vegas, with my mother and Ray and I just felt the need to share this right now.  These are two photos that I happen to have available to me on my computer so this is what you're getting  tonight.  
I was born on Xmas day, and I wish I had the first photo, but this is close enough.  So this is actually my first birthday.  We had a habit of taking a photo together every single year on my birthday.  I'm his first born and it's an incredible honor and something that gives me great personal comfort at this time.


I will miss you daddy, so very much...your number, one xoxo juner

AN EXTRA PRAYER

So things are not going as planned for my father.
He can't seem to get out of the hospital and onto rehabilitation.  He ended up staying another night in ICU, then they finally moved him the next day...however, he can't seem to stop vomiting and he's hit that really nasty depression.  
He is weak, they needed to give him a transfusion to help boost his blood.  He still can't stop with the hic- ups and now he is  having troubles with the bowel.  Maybe the fact that the first solid food they fed to him was a freaking STEAK! might have something to do with it.  You can't give someone who basically has fasted for two solid weeks a steak...and you certainly can't give a man who just had bypass surgery steak and shrimp for dinner...I'm sure he is having trouble with his bowels!!  But don't get me started on the food in the hospital...it's insane.


He keeps counting the clock and waiting for the next level of his stay, and when it doesn't come, it just sends him deeper into his longing to leave and be well, and he gets really sad.


I need you to send that extra prayer today....I gave my mother a pep talk yesterday to deliver to my dad...and she said he looked her square in the eyes when she spoke to him, (I explained that I did just that when he first came out of surgery.  He was anxious about the tube taped down his throat and in pain, and I just kept stroking his brow and held my face really close to him and kept saying, "just keep looking in my eyes daddy, don't think of anything else. Just take a deep breath and look into my eyes."  and this helped calm him.)  So she did the same and she said he got it, he heard her.


I haven't even spoken to her today yet to find out what happened, but I got a text from her saying he can't stop vomiting...so prayers everyone, prayers.


Thx for all of your support...xox juner

TODAY

Well, things are moving right along.  My father just got out of ICU yesterday, still having some issue with the kidney's and the regulation of his heart beat goes off sometimes.  But they're moving him to the rehabilitation center tomorrow...yay!

My cold is attempting to keep it's claws buried in my head, but I'm winning.  I just haven't had a cold like this in years...and it's really taken it's toll on me.  In the meantime I'm working on the second book and plan to finish up the illustrations this weekend.

Here's a preview of the almost finished painting of Annabel and Pips, standing on his Aeroquatic, The Lizzie Belle.

Enjoy, xox juner

PS. I want to thank everyone for their well wishes and personal support...as always you guys pull through when you're needed the most.

There's a smudge on my lens that I can't seem to get rid of
and it's right in the middle of her pretty pink shirt, drat!

Annabel is known for her red cowboy boots, these have a thick rubber sole.  Photos of the finished piece soon
and the whole picture of the Aeroquatic
 to be revealed as well...just wait, it's all coming!

FOR MY FATHER AND MYSELF

Last week we got the call that any one with an older parent fears, "He's had a heart attack."  My father will be 80 in August and his health is not very good in general.  Although he has always been strong and active, he even still worked as a mechanic up to this point.   Unfortunately when he was feeling something was up back in January, and complained of pain in his chest and the back of his arms burned, his doctor told him it was a condition of his diabetes and not to worry about it.  So he didn't.  That is until he couldn't breath and the pain grew stronger this past week.


I won't over load you with all the dramatic details, only to say, that after two days of sweating it out, because his kidney's have been so bad this past year they didn't think he could withstand the toxic dye they use to do an angiogram, they finally realized they had no choice. They really needed to see what was going on in there because tests were coming back that he had indeed suffered a big attack and the damage could be extensive.  Well, they were right.  He ended up having a five...not three or four, but a five artery bypass open heart surgery on Saturday morning.  


So I was coming off of a six day fast, that had it's moments as well for specific reasons...that's a whole nother story....then no sleep, super anxiety, and an eight and a half hour drive to Vegas and four straight days living at the hospital.  I wound up getting sick and here I am now at home in bed...not my favorite.  Ray said he's been with me for two years and has never seen me sick and it ain't fun!


The one thing I have gained from being a part of this fabulous blogging community is the friendships and support we give each other.  It seems I can go out to visit with bloggers I follow and  someone is going through the same thing I am, and suddenly you don't feel so alone.  There have been times when I could read about someone's feelings of depression or personal struggle in their life, that I felt the compassion and kinship to respond with my own experience or advice....we all are really there for one another and I'm grateful to have this vehicle of friendship in my life.  So I thank you all for that.


It's funny how an emergency like this can bring out the best, and the worst in people.  I've heard others stories about quibbles among families during these instances, and it appears we were not immune to this dynamic either.
For me, in as much as it was maybe not the most optimum time to take a stand, the opportunity presented itself, and I took it none the less, and it felt good.  


I have two sisters, that on their own separately, are challenging enough, to be yourself with or have a conflicting opinion or lifestyle, but together,  watch out!  They dominate every situation in an extremely harsh and condescending fashion, in a tone that just shocks you so much so, that the rest of us just simply do as we're told...kinda like we been hit by a mac truck....walking around in a daze wondering what just happened.  


But the good thing that came out of this, besides the sense of freedom I feel at being true to me for once, is I changed my original plan and drove back with my brother and his wife instead.  It really gave me the opportunity to spend an extended amount of time with her, and I gotta tell ya, she's a hoot!  She had me laughing and entertained the entire ride home.  What a good thing is providence!


I'm just at this point in my life where I can't waste the time.  I don't want to be around negative people. I don't want to be judged for something I haven't done, nor do I want to live with misperceptions about me as a person.  If you're going to be mad at me or not like me for something, let it come from the truth about me and not what you've made up in your own head.  And it doesn't matter if two or four people see it their way, they are looking through the same lens, which doesn't make it true at all.  
I want people in my life who respect me and care about me.  I simply don't have time for anything less.  


Why is it we edit ourselves, or change who we are around our families?  Why do we regress to twelve with our parents at times, no matter how old you are?  How is it that the closest people to you in your life can be the most mistaken about who you are?  How do they not have a clue?  


The good news is that I have a great relationship with my baby sister and brother, and have recently been getting closer to my mother on a different level as well.


And in the meantime, my father came through the surgery with flying colors, however, things are not perfect today, he's having serious issues with the kidneys.  We keep praying for him and sending our love, for my mother as well, who is simply beside herself right now in utter exhaustion and fear.  And I'm laying in my den with the fire and hot tea and a family that I live with in this great home that truly love and care about me....and that's enough for now. 

He looks so frail here

And here he is just so exhausted, he hasn't been able to sleep at all, it's sad to see him look this way.

mucho love to all, xox juner

INTRODUCING THE NEW BENJAMIN McTISH

Here he is, the new improved Benjamin...and the cover of my new book.  Yay!!

He's wearing aviator goggles,
and if you read the book you would know this!
I'm working hard on getting the ebook together...
coming soon!

enjoy! xoxo juner

CATCHING UP AGAIN

So this is just a quick one today...I went down town to pick up some art paper and on the street there was a new meter...I wonder how many cities have something like this?

All the money goes towards helping the transient people
who need help getting somewhere.

Then the window of my favorite shoe store looked like a pink fairy princess and I love it.
Then we had two people, one with a cello and one a guitar singing a modern kind of raspy song, and a few steps away was a lone old hippie singing Bob Dylan, quite well I might add, and then on the corner was a jazz combo, drums and all, and they were great!  It's just the cutest little city on the face of the earth, is all I'm sayin!

Then the house projects.  Almost done with the new stair rail and posts....got to finish the aging on the gold trim and fine tune the color work, but the idea is almost there.  I need to paint the wood rails, top and bottom to match yet...can't wait to have this project finished already.

Then here is a quick sneak peek at the "new and improved" Benjamin McTish.  I realized that when I first painted him, it was just a random illustration that had no meaning other than fun, and I gave him a name.  The next thing you know I have several illustrations and they all have names and a story begins to brew....so fast forward to today.  
I have a completed manuscript, the first book in the series I'm writing about Benjamin and his friends.  I'm in the process of putting an ebook together and need a cover and I realize that the original is simply not going to work.  He looks like he's from the fifties and he has Harry Potter glass's on...that just won't do.  So I've updated him and will be pulling a new illustration of him that relates to the book.  Almost done with that, but couldn't wait to get a glimpse of him out there. 

The new improved Grandfather Tree..
this one actually has the door.

Benjamin is wearing aviator googles in this one...
it's all in the book if you're interested!!

 And the last is a painting I'm working on that has texture and layers and all kinds of things going on...to be continued....

Way more layering going on with this,
but love the colors so far...

I almost forgot the perfect dark bronze/brown orchids that are finally blooming...yay!

enjoy! xox juner

A LITTLE LOST GEM I NEED TO SHARE...

What Are You Doing New Years Eve? 
by Zooey Deschanel and Joseph Gordon-L...


Okay, so I know I'm way behind the scene here..but I ran across this by accident searching for something on a blog and I just could not pass it up...I intend to include it in a blog every new year from now on...this is one of my favorite songs ever and they couldn't perform it better...so even though we are way past new years eve, here's a little reminder to feel excited to be with the one you love...enjoy!  xox juner


ps. I'm  really not looking for you tube videos...just a co-inky dink that I have two in a row...what can I say, they are both good.

SMASHING IDEA

I just saw this on one of my following blogs, Just Add Glitter and simply fell in love with not only the idea, but the video itself...it's super cleaver and dare I say, inspiring!   I'm sure most of you know about this, but for those who are like me....this is simply cool!  And if you haven't already, you need to check out Maggi and her daughter Toots...who is beyond super clever and always brings me much joy and laughter......Give it a whirl yourself...enjoy smashing!  
xox juner

FEBRUARY BEGINS!

So getting back into the swing of things. We finished off January with Ray's 60th birthday.  The original guest list included 20 people, so we built a big eight foot square table to hold everyone in one place.  We had gold framed name placards strategically placed to give everyone a chance to maybe learn more about someone they weren't as close with, none of this sitting couples together...I set up each corner with the perfect four people to occupy...a lot of thought went into this arrangement, it took me hours to do.  

We had white table clothes and napkins, and Ray picked out hot pink Roses, with purple Lisianthus and some green mum type flower.  We filled the table with dozens of candles and a two tiered rusty cake.  I hung shiny star garland in consecutive circles of color around the chandelier that we moved to fit in the center of this  humongous table.  First teal, then green, ending with cobalt...you won't be able to tell from the photos, but the finished work was spectacular!  You felt like you were in a magical special place.

Unfortunately we had eight, count them, eight last minute cancels, so that left our count to 12.  Which was still nice for Ray.  It turned out to be everyone who lives here and our dear friends, Barb and Mike...so there you have it!  It would have been so much better, with the smaller group to have a smaller more intimate table, but in the end we all visited and had great food and played pool and sent Ray into his third phase of his life a happy camper!

Now I'm just attempting to get my mojo pumpin....it's takin me almost two weeks but I finally figured it out.  I had to put the paintings aside for a moment...just wasn't working.  I redid Michaels shirt collar a dozen times...so I decided to work on another one of my unfinished pieces to get ready for a little local showing...and still...challenges.  

So the other night I sat down with my old illustration sketches and realized I had never finished Annabel, one of the main characters in my new book.  So, it took me one whole night to get the ideas flowing, since I now had a story line to contend with and not simply something of whimsey to produce without direction.  So I sat and brainstormed and the next night, there it was!   I went on a roll and I haven't looked back. So here are a couple close ups of the two new pieces I'm presently working on.  It's great to feel like I'm finally accomplishing something!  Yay!

And speaking of the book...I've had my share of rejections this past month.  It's super disheartening when that happens...but all it takes is just one person to say, "yes, we'd like to see more".  This process is a long one.  Usually all you send an agent or publisher is a quick one page synopsis of what your book is about, and sometimes they ask for a few pages or chapters as well.  But you're really lucky to get past the query, usually that's where it ends.  

It's a major challenge to explain your three hundred and something page book in two paragraphs...AND hook someone long enough, and big enough, for them to ask to see the body of your work, or to be interested in even going one minute further.

Well I'm happy to say that I finally got someone who wrote back and asked to see more of my manuscript!!  Yay!!  I think this could be the opportunity I have been waiting for...let's hope!!

So onward and upward into February....we are planting some new fruit trees in our new orchard...and it couldn't feel more like home...xoxo juners

You can really see the different colors in this one...
the teal, then the green
 and last in the circle was cobalt

It's difficult to see, but I took some old house numbers made of iron and painted them to look rusty.
I used a rusty garland with stars to wrap around the entire cake...
I also had big brass star napkin rings...
so stars were the unplanned theme.

He looks great...for 60!
(I love how people always throw around numbers,
as is he can't just look good no matter his age.)

Massive table...but we had fun regardless
of all the empty chairs, which are on the opposite end.

Mugging for the camera...
I'm really NOT tan at all, Taylor is simply THAT  pale!

Some of the boys...
actually there were only four women...nice odds!

Ray's choice...nice!

Yay!  Chocolate cake with
chocolate ganache/raspberry cream and
buttercream frosting.
And a tray of cherry collettes,
(which are AH-MAZE-ING)
and chocolate orange truffles that I
made for the celebration.
Oh, yeah, and home made french vanilla bean ice cream...
I did good for my boy!

A pool game break

An unfinished rendering of Pips's Aeroquatic,
(a plane that becomes a submarine)
 The LizzieBelle....ahhh! 

A VERY unfinished drawing of Annabel and Pips...
the finished product coming soon...

Michael has a bit of a face now....
this is the toughest painting I've ever worked on!! geez!!
But I'll get it...don't worry.

Some of the red texture in the background of this painting..
I've stepped up my game a bit...it feels good!

Hope to finish this piece this month...
keep your eyes peeled for this one....
if all goes well, it should be my best one yet.

So hope you're all doing well, keep creating!  xox juner

MATHILDA WICKCLIFF COME TO LIFE

Okay, so I promised a special post presenting my perfect gift from Lisa...a whimsical bohemian...She studied the illustration, (from my website) of one of my characters...my FAVORITE character from my new book, "Benjamin McTish and the Door Through The Grandfather Tree" ...and brought her to life for me!


It was super exciting to sit with my family surrounding me on my birthday, Xmas day, with my eyes closed, again, after just being ushered into the dining room with my eyes closed to reveal a perfect snowman birthday cake from Ray...I opened my eyes and couldn't even understand what I was seeing at first...then it hit me...OH MY GOD!  It's MATHILDA!


Lisa captured everything about this character from her orange kinky curls to her ballet pink toes.  She used a piece of her own orange tree to make the base for Mathilda to sit upon...which represents the Grandfather Tree, with his "Key" in the lock. Then below she pieced specific items that are representatives of different parts of the story...some of you may recall the top hat and balancing ball belonging to Chantilly Lily, and the hook with the star, to represent Finley Heaton the Star Hanger.


I have Mathilda here, with me, on my desk, as tremendous inspiration for me.  She makes it all seem so "real", the idea of the whole book and the possibilities. It's so very exciting to me. 


I'm working very hard on finding an agent/publisher, to take this book all the way.  It's the first in a series and I couldn't be more excited or proud that I have written a good book.  I'm working on getting an ebook of it made at present. In the meantime if anyone is interested in reading the book, just let me know.  I could use the feedback.  Just know that the offer only stands for a short while, as soon I will begin charging for the book...so here for your whimsical enjoyment.... 


I present Mathilda Wickcliff, as observed by Lisa Oceandreamer....and just in case you are wondering, Yes! Lisa is very open to creating any character from any book, or otherwise, that you find you simply cannot live without...enjoy! xoxo juners

She has Mathilda holding up a copy of the book,
 instead of  the balloon

She put a tea cup, from Mathilda's tea party,
and a CD of her favorite music, very important to Mathilda

Mathilda wears tee shirts with her favorite singers,
 this one being the "Blues Billies"...(a name I made up)

Chantilly Lily's top had and transporting ball

The Key in the lock and the roses from the
"Enchanted Rose Garden",
and a star, for Finley Heaton, the Star Hanger,
and a piece of burlap to represent the pile of burlap covered hay
in the garden shed that Benjamin lies upon to dream.